


First Times

by Moooomoo



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Bottom Yotsuba Tamaki, Chapters can be read independently, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:13:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23970619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moooomoo/pseuds/Moooomoo
Summary: First times between Sougo and Tamaki as they take their relationship from friendship to something more.Aged-up characters but the ages are not defined (I guess Tamaki is between 20 and 23?).Canon compliant but not using story key-points so no need to be up to date with the story. Might refer to some rabbitchats though!There will be more chapters to come but they can be all read independently !Happy SouTama Day :DChapter 1: First kiss (fluff)Chapter 2: First time (smut)
Relationships: Ousaka Sougo/Yotsuba Tamaki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	1. First kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Dami for helping so much with beta-reading and correcting <3333  
> and Rami for your opinion and suggestions!!

**First kiss**

Sougo had been going on for at least fifteen minutes now. Or was it twenty? Tamaki wasn’t sure, but it sure felt like an eternity. So long that Tamaki had, in fact, forgotten already why Sougo was lecturing him in the first place. His partner had gotten mad about something Tamaki did, and it sparked one of his infamous long lectures. Tamaki used to get really upset about these, but right now their relationship had evolved enough that he was able to keep his cool about it. Since he knew that they didn’t mean Sougo hated him, they kind of lost their impact. Only when Sougo had  _ that look _ would Tamaki feel really bad about it. The look that meant “you disappointed me, Tamaki-kun...”. But Tamaki really did his best to avoid getting that one, and it had been awhile since the last time. Thankfully, whatever he did this time was not bad enough to get it. If it had been, Tamaki would have felt bad about it anyway… but it was still enough to grant him one neverending lecture. Tamaki was really good now at tuning Sougo and Iori’s lectures out when it got too boring. The message should be simple and clear, no need to go on about it forever, right?!

Slightly pouting - when would this end? - Tamaki let his eyes wander in front of him. There however wasn’t much to look at, and Sougo would get really mad if Tamaki plain ignored him, so the young man forced himself to focus his look on his partner again. They were sitting on a couch, actually pretty close to each other.

_ Hu… Sou-chan’s eyelashes are really long…. _

Yamato did mention it a long time ago. Tamaki even tried to have a look at them but he forgot the whole thing until now. It’s not like he never noticed it - when Sougo was napping they especially really stood out - but the way they were fluttering regularly tonight was really hypnotising. Sougo’s eyes were especially sparkling as well, and kept pulling Tamaki in even more. Tamaki wasn’t sure if it was because of the left-over of eyeliner around them or another reason, but their purple color was so deep tonight and lights seemed to be caught inside. They really looked like two precious gemstones. Maybe that was intensified by the fact Sougo’s skin looked particularly white and soft at the moment, the slight blush given by the energy of his lecture standing out even more than usual? As he was putting a strand of hair behind his ear, Sougo furrowed his brows furthermore.

“Tamaki-kun, are you listening??”

Tamaki had, in fact, not been listening at all, but he noticed that the lips of his friend stopped moving and that his stare was waiting for an answer. Now he was actually starting to feel bad. He mumbled something unintelligible, and it seemed to be enough for Sougo to continue wherever he had left off, to Tamaki’s relief. He did want the lecture to stop, but he did  _ not  _ want to anger his friend. He actually regretted causing trouble earlier - even though he forgot what trouble that was. Man, how he wished Sougo and Iori wouldn’t still scold him like a kid all the time, but it was something that years wouldn’t change apparently.

_ Sou-chan is really pretty tonight… _

He wasn’t sure why, but now that he started focusing on his friend’s face, Tamaki had a really hard time taking his eyes away. Unconsciously, his own face started getting closer little by little, attracted like a moth to a candle. The two lips that were opening and closing non-stop were a nice rosy color. Was there leftover gloss on them? Tamaki wasn’t sure, but they certainly looked pinker than usual. They also looked very soft. So very, very soft.

On an impulse he didn’t understand, Tamaki suddenly leaned in. As his own lips touched Sougo’s, Tamaki closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling.

_ They’re even softer than I thought… Ah, he stopped talking... He done? _

Opening his eyes again as he pulled out, Tamaki faced Sougo’s widened eyes and extremely pronounced blush. Only then, in the silence of the room, did Tamaki realize what he had just done as he finally snapped out of his daydreaming.

“Ta...Ta...Tamaki-kun…?”

As Tamaki’s neck, then ears, and finally complete face turned a deep shade of red, Sougo was still fighting for breath and words.

“W-w-w-why?”

One word was all Sougo managed to get out. Tamaki’s brain more or less overloaded and he didn’t manage much better.

“I… I dunno!! I just… I felt like it!!”

Tamaki has always lived by following his instinct and impulses. He was bored? He said it. He wanted to hug a friend? He hugged him. As long as there was no harm, Tamaki just followed what his heart told him. And at this very moment - he really just felt like it. He wanted to touch these lips, and his body acted on his own. And now, Tamaki felt very, very confused about it. However, despite being used to his partner’s explanations being quite short and hard to follow, this time Sougo couldn’t be satisfied by the answer.

“What… what do you mean you felt like it?! Tamaki-kun!!”

Tamaki saw the emotion of hurt painted on his friend’s face and it made him panic even more.

“That’s… I… I r’lly dunno!! I just thought that Sou-chan was super pretty and suddenly I wanted to touch you and… it just happened!!”

Wringing his hands together, Tamaki gave him a pleading look. He really had no idea why he just did that, but the fact that Sougo looked really upset about it didn’t even give him time to think about the meaning it could hold. What if he just destroyed years of building a trustworthy relationship with Sougo?!

“Sou-chan, ‘m so sorry… I r’lly dunno what happened, please, please don’t hate me...”

Tamaki looked so lost. Sougo concealed a small sigh and made his voice softer.

“Tamaki-kun, I don’t hate you. And I… I didn’t hate it either…”

Tamaki’s mouth opened in a silent “oh”.

“You didn’t…”

“... hate it. No, I didn’t. Actually, I think I… I think I liked it.”

Unconsciously, Tamaki’s fingers brushed his own lips.

“... m-me too. It was soft and it… it felt real nice, you know?”

_ And I even wanna do it again _ was the thought that then flashed in the young man’s head. As he pondered about what this meant, and his heart was less frantic now that he knew that Sougo didn’t hate him - the thought really terrified him for some reason - Tamaki didn’t notice Sougo getting closer. A hand gently cupped his head, burying itself in his soft hair, and before he knew it Sougo’s lips were now pressed against his own. The kiss was still soft and gentle, but the pressure was much stronger than during Tamaki’s impulse. Something fluttered in Tamaki’s stomach as warmth spread into his body. Why did this feel so good? When Sougo pulled back, breaking the contact, Tamaki found himself regretting that it didn’t last longer. The hand was still in his hair though, and it somehow comforted him.

“How… how did this feel, Tamaki-kun?”

Sougo’s burning eyes were locked on his, and it was like he could see deep inside his soul. Licking his lips nervously, Tamaki tried to get some more air inside his lungs. Breathing was quite complicated for some reason.

“G-good… it felt… real good…”

“For me too… it felt really nice… Can I... again…?”

As an answer Tamaki slightly leaned in, and it’s all Sougo wanted to know. This time the kiss was more heated. As Sougo titled his head Tamaki’s lips parted open in another attempt to catch his breath, and Sougo’s tongue immediately shot forward by reflex. Invading the mouth of his partner, Sougo’s passion took over for the next few seconds as his grip on Tamaki’s head got firmer. When he pulled back and released his hand, Tamaki felt dizzy and on fire. His heart was also beating so fast…Was he sick?! As he switched uncomfortably on the couch, Tamaki realised with unlimited embarrassment that he also was slightly hard downstairs.

“S-Sou-chan, what was that!!”

“That was a kiss, Tamaki-kun.”

“T-that was…”

It was quite different from the first two kisses they had exchanged just before, but the upgrade didn't feel that bad.

“You didn’t like it?”

Concern appeared on Sougo’s face, and Tamaki energetically shook his head.

“No!!! Ah, I mean, yes!! I liked it!! It was… it was great…! But… aren’t... kisses like, t-this, supposed to be… like… with your g-girlfriend?”

“Kisses are something you exchange with the person you love, Tamaki-kun.”

“But… we just k-k-kissed…”

“Yes.”

“And I... liked it...”

“Yes.”

“And Sou-chan liked it too, right?”

“Yes.”

“Does that mean I love Sou-chan?”

“You tell me, Tamaki-kun.”

Lost in his thoughts, Tamaki tried to organise his thoughts. When he ate King Pudding, it made him super happy. He knew he loved King Pudding because the mascot and the puddings always made him smile and feel warm inside and excited. Tamaki also knew he liked Sougo. That’s why he wanted to support him in his dreams and make him happy. But he also liked Iori, Yamato, Mitsuki, Nagi and Riku, and he also wanted to help and support them. However, right now kissing Sougo felt really great. He had  _ wanted  _ to kiss him - and if he was being honest, right now he kinda wanted to kiss him again. Did he ever want to kiss Iorin before? Nah. Not even to shut him up. Yama-san? Him neither. Even when Tamaki tried to steal his glasses while he slept and he was really close. Mikki? Nope, despite him smelling so good like chocolate or pudding sometimes. Nagicchi? He was really handsome but Tamaki never felt like he wanted to kiss him, even when watching anime shoulder to shoulder and their heads a few centimeters away from each other. Rikkun? Rikkun was like a little brother. Tamaki loved ruffling his hair and hugging him but the thought of kissing him never crossed his mind.

_ So why do I want to kiss Sou-chan ?! _

As Tamaki’s focus came back to reality and his eyes felt on the patiently waiting face of Sougo in front of him, the young man let out a small gasp of realization.

“Sou-chan... I actually... seriously might totally love you…!”

Sougo gave him the purest of smiles as Tamaki worked out the answer for himself.

“And I think I seriously might totally love you, Tamaki-kun.”

The grin they then exchanged as they both realized their feelings were mutual was bright enough to light up the whole room.

“Ah, but Tamaki-kun, that doesn’t mean what you did earlier is forgotten!!”

Yeah, okay, it didn’t mean things changed all that much either. Except now, Tamaki knew of a new way to make Sougo stop talking. He immediately gave it another try.  
  
  


***

Sougo and Tamaki’s relationship had improved a lot over the years. The fact that they finally managed to understand each other was of course a huge turning point - but they both grew so much that it was hard to even compare them to their previous selves. Tamaki was now really serious in his work, giving it his best, to Sougo’s eternal pride. Sougo himself was much more honest and spontaneous. He had finally stopped trying to please everyone else first, and properly took himself into account now for Tamaki’s greatest joy. With their personal growth came the growth of their relationship. What used to look like a hopeless cause eventually bloomed into a strong friendship that became a pillar in both of their lives. Sougo once wondered if he would ever be able to call Tamaki his partner without feeling guilty, but that day was long gone now. Tamaki  _ was  _ his precious partner now. Maybe even more, if he allowed himself to be truly honest.

The past few months, the love that Sougo felt for his friend had slowly evolved from platonic to romantic. At first he didn’t really pay attention to it, but it quickly became undeniable that he had developed a crush on his partner. Sougo had experienced crushes before becoming an idol. He even dated in college for a little while: there was no lying to himself. Issue was, said crush only grew bigger and bigger with time. Everytime Tamaki came closer to him, hugged him, took his hand, gave him a pat on the back during practice… Every single time Sougo’s heart would beat faster, and he would miss the proximity or the touch as soon as it was gone. When they would be away for a while because of their job, his heart would ache. Anytime he got a text message from him, a smile would come on his lips. Sougo really wished these feelings would go away, especially since they would never be reciprocated and could jeopardize both IDOLiSH7 and MEZZO” - but alas, they didn’t. Thankfully, Sougo knew how to control his feelings and not let them show. He had, afterall, diligently been doing it for most of his life. Burying them deep down, Sougo decided to focus on his actual relationship with Tamaki. Things were going on too well too risk them!

That, however, didn’t mean that they had stopped fighting completely. Sougo loved his partner dearly, but it didn’t mean he would overlook his mistakes or missteps either. And if anything, the mess Tamaki created in Sougo’s heart only made him more irritable. Since he was trying so hard not to let anything Tamaki would do or say send his heart into a frenzy, he had a tendency to snap at his partner even more easily. Not that the young man really paid attention to his lectures anymore, which exasperated Sougo beyond words. He was not even five minutes in, explaining to the young man that you don’t call a world-famous comedian “an old geezer” on live TV, when he could see Tamaki’s attention was already drifting away. Just as he was about to get a little upset about it, Tamaki’s eyes focused on him again, and Sougo mentally calmed down a bit. At least Tamaki was trying to follow. Sougo made them sit on the couch of their dressing room in an attempt to get his message through a bit better via proximity. Sadly, it didn’t seem to be working. Frowning, Sougo let out another small sigh.

“Tamaki-kun, are you listening??”

The answer he got didn’t really mean anything, but a reaction at all was more than the older man had expected. With yet another inward sigh, Sougo continued. He just wanted to get this done as quickly as possible. As Tamaki’s eyes stopped wandering around and started to focus on him, Sougo internally rejoiced. Finally, he had his friend’s attention back! However, very slowly, his partner’s face got closer and closer. Tamaki’s stare was actually so intense that Sougo started to feel a little troubled. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but stray for even one second with Tamaki and he would latch on to the chance, rendering finishing the lecture impossible. So Sougo decided to ignore it. Until he couldn’t anymore. The two soft lips he had dreamed about for so long were now on his own.

_ Did I…. fall asleep? Is this a dream? I am dreaming, right? _

But as Tamaki broke the kiss and opened his eyes again, and Sougo’s heart nearly broke out of his body, everything felt very real.

“Ta...Ta...Tamaki-kun…?”

Sougo wasn’t often at a loss for words, but at the moment one word was the only thing he managed.

“W-w-w-why?”

Tamaki’s blush deepened as the young man finally answered.

“I… I dunno!! I just… I felt like it!!”

He felt like it?  _ He felt like it? _ What did that even mean? Was this kiss really that meaningless for Tamaki? Was it just a funny joke to shut him up? Sougo never expected his feelings to be returned, but he didn’t expect them to be trampled on, either. Just when he thought he finally was able to understand his partner, he was proven wrong yet again. Pain started to replace the confusion, and this time Sougo didn’t even try to conceal his feelings as they showed on his face.

“What… what do you mean you felt like it?! Tamaki-kun!!”

Tamaki's panic only got worse.

“That’s… I… I r’lly dunno!! I just thought that Sou-chan was really pretty and suddenly I wanted to touch you and… it just happened!!”

Wringing his hands together, Tamaki gave him a pleading look as he desperately tried to go on.

“Sou-chan, ‘m so sorry… I r’lly dunno what happened, please, please don’t hate me...”

Tamaki looked so lost and confused, Sougo could tell this was clearly not a joke. The fear Sougo could feel in his friend was real and tangible. The priority would be to help him calm down so they could both understand what had just happened. Trying to make his voice softer, Sougo forced himself to be honest and took a leap of faith.

“Tamaki-kun, I don’t hate you. And I… I didn’t hate it either…”

Tamaki’s mouth opened in a silent “oh”.

“You didn’t…”

“... hate it. No, I didn’t. Actually, I think I… I think I liked it.”

Tamaki raised his fingers to his own lips with an confused look in his eyes.

“... m-me too. It was soft and it… it felt real nice, you know?”

Something akin to fireworks immediately exploded inside Sougo’s heart, and the older man identified it as hope. Judging by his reaction, it seemed Tamaki didn’t quite understand the meaning of this kiss just yet, but Sougo was starting to.  _ There was hope _ . After trying to control and restrain himself for so long, Sougo decided to follow his instincts. This time, it was him who got closer as he gently cupped Tamaki’s head, burying his fingers into the soft blue hair. As softly as possible, he finally did what he has been yearning for all these months and kissed Tamaki.

The kiss was still chaste and gentle, but Sougo applied more strength to it than the simple brush of before. When he pulled back, his heart was beating so fast it was probably impossible that Tamaki couldn’t hear it.

“How… how did this feel, Tamaki-kun?”

Sougo’s eyes locked on Tamaki’s, trying to find the answer he was hoping for in them.

“G-good… it felt… real good…”

His heart leapt in joy again.

_ Is it really mutual? _

“For me too… it felt really nice… Can I... again…?”

As an answer Tamaki slightly leaned in, and it’s all Sougo wanted to know. This time the kiss was more heated. As Sougo titled his head Tamaki’s lips parted open in another attempt to catch his breath, and Sougo’s tongue immediately shot forward by reflex. Invading the mouth of his partner, Sougo’s passion took over for the next few seconds as his grip on Tamaki’s head got firmer. When he pulled back and released his hand, Sougo felt guilt washing over him. He had lost all control for a short moment, much more than he’d intended to.

“S-Sou-chan, what was that!!”

“That was a kiss, Tamaki-kun.”

Sticking to logical answers for now was all he could do not to explode himself.

“T-that was…”

Tamaki seemed even more confused, and Sougo panicked at the thought that he might have misunderstood his friend’s feelings.

“You didn’t like it?”

“No!!! Ah, I mean, yes!! I liked it!! It was… it was great…! But… aren’t... kisses like, t-this, supposed to be… like… with your g-girlfriend?”

Here they were.

“Kisses are something you exchange with the person you love, Tamaki-kun.”

“But… we just k-k-kissed…”

“Yes.”

“And I... liked it...”

“Yes.”

“And Sou-chan liked it too, right?”

“Yes.”

_ Very _ .

“Does that mean I love Sou-chan?”

“You tell me, Tamaki-kun.”

To Sougo, it then felt like time had stopped. It wouldn’t mean anything if Tamaki didn’t come to the conclusion by himself. That spontaneous kiss was proof that there  _ was _ something deep down, but Tamaki didn’t realize it yet. It could be a fluke, though. Tamaki really gave no hint whatsoever until now that he held anything more than friendship for his friend. The young man hadn't even shown interest at all in anything remotely close to romantic love for as long as Sougo had known him. But if the feelings were truly there… if they really were mutual… then… 

Tamaki had a gasp as his eyes filled with surprise.

“Sou-chan... I actually... seriously might totally love you…!”

Sougo gave him the purest of smiles as Tamaki worked out the answer for himself. Oh, how many times did he dream of this moment!

“And I think I seriously might totally love you, Tamaki-kun.”

It felt like a dream and might very well be one, but for now Sougo didn’t want to convince himself that he might have misunderstood. He just wanted to savor the moment. Even if their dressing room was not locked and someone could very well step in at any moment. Didn’t the director of the show tell him earlier he would come by before they left? Which wasn’t a bad thing since Sougo wanted to apologize for Tamaki’s behavior in person anyway. Suddenly, Sougo remembered he never got to finish his lecture.

“Ah, but Tamaki-kun, that doesn’t mean what you did earlier is forgotten!!”

When Tamaki this time shut him up with a kiss on purpose, Sougo decided that this was a counter attack he could learn to enjoy very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is twice the same moment but from two different points of view. I was afraid it was a bit weird and heavy to read, but I really liked the parallel so I stuck with it. The dialogues are the exact same to keep this parallel but the rest is all different ! I hope it wasn't too weird, haha. The following chapters should be "normal" though!
> 
> I had SO. MANY. ISSUES. Writing Tamaki's lines. I always do, but especially here. I might have spent as much time trying to write "I love you" (Tamaki's version) than the rest of the fic. I am not a native English speaker, and familiar language is really hard to write for me. But Tamaki's speach is really special.... I know it should be much more familiar but it's sadly beyond me (and god know how much I'm trying). Also lines kept coming in Japanese in my head lol not helping.


	2. First time

Ousaka Sougo was nothing but a patient man. When he started dating Tamaki, he didn’t expect things to move forward very fast, even though they were both adults now. He was, after all, fully aware of both Tamaki’s inexperience when it came to dating, and his embarrassment for anything love-related. It was terribly cute to see Tamaki blushing any time they proceeded a bit further, but Sougo took a lot of care to be sure they wouldn’t go too fast.

At first, it was mostly hugs or hand-holding. Tamaki always had been a tactile person, and dating Sougo made him look for his proximity even more than before. They were now apparently unable to sit in the same room without Tamaki being in contact one way or another. Sometimes it was simply their shoulders touching, like often when they were in stand-by mode during work. But other times, like when Tamaki was playing games and Sougo reading, he would lean on totally on his boyfriend like he was a couch. Or put his head on his lap. That always made Sougo laugh, because dating Tamaki sometimes kind of felt like having a cat. But he quickly got used to the warm touch of his partner's proximity, and he was now craving it probably just as much as him.

Then came the kisses. Tamaki immediately liked them, but he still had some leftover inhibitions that made him shy about them at first. As it faded, the kisses began to occur more and more often, until it felt natural between them – almost too natural. Sougo had to remind him no to kiss in public a few times already as Tamaki sometimes just suddenly leant toward his face by reflex, ready to kiss for the simple reason that he felt like it.

What followed took a bit more time and was a direct consequence of said kisses. Sougo initially purposely ignored how obviously hard Tamaki was after their make-out sessions, but after a while he reached out to Tamaki with as much delicacy as he could.

Tamaki was lying down on Sougo’s bed, his blue hair spread on the pillow. His cheeks were red and his breathing slightly faster as Sougo broke off the kiss and let his head hover above Tamaki’s, both forearms resting on either sides of his head. Their legs were more or less entangled by now, and Sougo could feel the bulge in Tamaki’s pants so well he had a hard time thinking about anything else. He tried to ignore it as to push it away the lustful thoughts it inspired him for a while, but at some point it became impossible. Tamaki was so hard, it was surely painful for him, right?

“Tamaki-kun… Do you want me to take care of it for you?”

“Hm… Take care of what?”

Slowly, Sougo brought his right hand to his boyfriend’s groin area and let his fingers brush on the pants ever so slightly.

“Of this.”

It was barely even a touch at all, but Tamaki immediately reacted with a gargled sound, some squirming and a deepening blush, so Sougo retrieved his hand and cupped his face instead.

“I won’t if you don’t want to, of course. But you’re hard, aren’t you?”

Tamaki wasn’t the lying type, but it was impossible to deny anyway. He didn't actually have to answer that question.

“You were planning to jerk it off after in your room, right?”

The flash of guilt in his eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Sougo. This made him chuckle.

“Tamaki-kun, it’s ok. It’s normal. I do the same after, you know? I’m just as hard.”

As he was leaning down to kiss him again, Sougo made sure Tamaki could feel what he just said. When their eyes locked again, Tamaki’s were shiny brightly.

“So what I’m saying is that…”

Sougo’s hand slowly went back to Tamaki’s pants.

“…instead of taking care of it alone…”

He started to lightly caress the bulge over the fabric.

“…I’ll give you a hand with it. Let me do it for you. If you want.”

Yotsuba Tamaki was not an especially patient man. He got bored quickly and easily, and he liked things to be fast or spontaneous. He had waited most of his life by now and he was sick of it. Waiting for his father to come back from work – would he be drunk or not? Waiting for his father to stop hitting him. Waiting for a new family to adopt him. Waiting to be grown up enough to look for Aya. Waiting to find Aya and finally be reunited. Waiting to debut. Waiting for their TV appearances. Waiting for Aya to reach out to him once he was famous. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Tamaki hated waiting. But these last few years, Tamaki realised that he did not have to keep on waiting anymore. The future stopped mattering more than present time when Tamaki realised he enjoyed his current life as it was – and that he was happy. It did not, however, really make him more patient.

When it came to dating Sougo, though, it was different. Every new step was highly enjoyable – wonderful really. But also incredibly embarrassing and, well, very new. Tamaki needed some time to adjust, and he discovered that waiting wasn’t always so bad after all. Sougo’s kisses awakened something in him he didn’t know was there. It was lighting up a fire in his body, and while it wasn’t unpleasant, he wasn’t sure how to react. The kissing was a bit awkward at first, but he quickly came to enjoy it greatly, and whenever they had enough privacy for make-out sessions he would never say no. Sadly, it came with the downside that it usually left him painfully hard afterward. So when Sougo suggested that…

His first reaction was to die from embarrassment and panic. He knew it wouldn’t be an issue to say no, Sougo made it very clear that Tamaki was to set the pace. But. It wasn’t that he didn’t want it. It was just so goddamn  _ embarrassing _ !! Sougo kissed him tenderly and it calmed him down a bit. When their eyes locked after that, Tamaki was blown away by the confidence he was seeing in his lover’s eyes. Any words he might have been ready to blurt out just died in his throat and he could swear he got harder just from that look. Then Sougo’s hand started to lightly caress him over the fabric of his pants and something exploded inside him. It was the first time someone else ever touched him there, and a moan immediately escaped his mouth. Did he want it, asked Sougo. Oh hell, at this moment there was nothing else in the whole world he wanted more. So much than part of the embarrassment melted away instantly.

“Y-yes…!”

His answer was half whispered by a husky voice, but it didn’t fall on deaf ears. In a matter of seconds, Sougo had opened and pulled down Tamaki’s pants. His hand hesitated a few seconds next to the elastic of his boxers, until Tamaki nodded that he was ready for Sougo to go further. Slower this time, Sougo took his boxers off and freed an already pretty hard dick. Then his delicate hand closed around it, and the shiver that ran down Tamaki’s spin was like nothing he experienced before. He let out another moan, and tried to stifle it with his right hand this time. The embarrassment wasn’t totally gone either. It felt strange to make such noises out loud, especially in front of his partner, but he had a hard time controlling himself now. Sougo gently pushed his hand away with a smile.

“It’s ok, Tamaki-kun. Let it out. We’re alone, there is no issue.”

Then Sougo started to stroke him slightly, and Tamaki gave up even trying to control himself. Maybe it only was the novelty of the act, but having someone else pleasuring him felt much more powerful than when he did it on his own before. Sougo was going at a very slow pace, and it probably wasn’t a bad idea – Tamaki thought otherwise he would have come already. But suddenly, the touch was gone. Tamaki opened his eyes again and only then realised he had closed them at some point. Still straddling his legs, Sougo was opening his own pants, his face almost painful.

“Tamaki-kun, I’m sorry, I need to—“

“I-it’s okay, Sou-chan.”

Finally releasing his own very hard cock, Sougo let out a sigh of relief. Tamaki’s eyes widened slightly at the sight. Sougo’s was huge. Probably not more than himself, but considering Sougo was smaller and thinner than him, Tamaki never expected him to match him in size down there. Not that he thought about Sougo’s dick all that much before, if he was being honest. He only ever masturbated before out of necessity, even though it drastically increased since he started dating Sougo, and didn’t really picture anything or anyone while doing so. But he had a gut feeling that this might change now. No way he was forgetting about  _ that _ . The thought grazed the back of his mind but didn’t have much time to settle, since Sougo immediately resumed pleasuring him – or now, them. Getting closer and grabbing both of their dicks together in his right hand, he slowly stroked them at the same time, increasing the pace once he was sure his grip was firm enough.

This was not how Sougo had pictured their first time. He had made extensive research on what Tamaki would like, how to be sure he was ready and didn’t feel pressured, and what the best setting could be. It was not supposed to be almost still fully dressed on his bed in their dorm nor out of the blue. He really just wanted to help Tamaki earlier, but seeing him in this state and hearing him moan was too much to handle for both his heart and his dick. Somehow, the spur of the moment overcame all of his planning. But seeing the glee in his partner’s eyes and the smile he had whenever their eyes met was enough to make him sure this was the right thing to do.

“So… Sou-chan…. Hgnn… ‘m close…”

Tamaki was nearing his climax. His eyes had been wandering everywhere for the past minutes, the unusual pleasure too overwhelming for him to focus on anything, but anytime his look crossed Sougo’s it brought a smile on his face. Sougo’s was flushed and his mouth stayed open as he was panting slightly. He looked really erotic, but it’s his eyes that impressed Tamaki. They were so intense. So confident. So fierce. Losing himself in their deep purple, Tamaki came in a powerful moan, his whole body becoming tense before it relaxed and fell back onto the mattress as he was left trying to catch his breath. He was hot, much too hot for the clothes he was still wearing, but his orgasm had felt amazing and he was still relieving in the sensation. If the amount of cum on Sougo’s hand was any indication, his lover did come as well, probably around the same time. A flash of guilt suddenly crept on him. He hadn’t done anything himself. Propping himself on his elbows, he pulled Sougo into an embrace before falling back on the bed with him.

“Tamaki-kun! I need to clean us first, I’m—“

“Shh, Sou-chan. ‘s ok. We’re dirty anyway.”

Cum dripped everywhere on their t-shirts and pants, so really, what was the point of caring now? Tamaki’s heart was still beating so fast. With Sougo’s body in direct contact with him, he could feel that his boyfriend’s was not much better.

“T-thank you, Sou-chan. It was really embarrassing, but... it was pretty awesome.”

“I’m really glad you enjoyed it, Tamaki-kun!”

That was such a Sou-chan answer. Only accounting for the others.

“Did you not?”

“What? No, of course I did!”

“‘m sorry I didn’t do anything… next time, I’ll be the one doing i-it… if you want… ‘kay?”

Sougo gave him a soft smile and brushed his lips with his finger, an enigmatic look on his face.

“Don’t worry Tamaki-kun. There are plenty of ways of doing it, and plenty of ways for you to help. We’ll get there.”

For some reason, Tamaki couldn’t refrain a shiver of anticipation even though he didn’t know what Sougo meant exactly. Things were embarrassing and a bit scary, but if it was with Sougo, then he was looking forward to them.

Tamaki had spent a lot of time trying hard  _ not  _ to think about their first time while obsessing about it nonetheless in the past few weeks. He knew Sougo was probably looking forward to it, but he himself was a bit scared of the act. How did gay sex work ? He had no idea, and he didn’t actually look it up yet. He meant too, but, later. Maybe. When would stop freaking out about it, for sure. For someone that only occasionally masturbated with a blank mind, focusing on the raw pleasure and nothing else, it was very foreign. And Sougo probably had experience, while he had none and would be completely at loss. So embarrassing. So since thinking about it made him overly nervous, so he tried not to think too much. It was something for Future Tamaki to handle, not for him.

The way things just happened tonight was such a relief for Past, Present and Future Tamaki. It just felt right. All of his worries and his fear to screw things up just disappeared when it was time. He wished he could have done more himself – and he would be sure to do more next time – but Tamaki discovered that he really liked this confident and spontaneous Sougo too.

As the cuddle lasted longer, Tamaki closed his eyes and buried his face into Sougo’s hair with a sigh of content. He wouldn’t be against doing this again the next time they could. New things could sometimes be scary, but if he discovered them with Sougo, then they were not all that scary anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to feel awkward, because they both are, but it was also supposed so be tender and I didn't feel it being much tender so I felt awkward about the fic too, haha. This chapter has been done for almost a month but I kinda didn't want to post it. Today I decided that since it was written anyway, I could just post it /shrugs
> 
> First night will still follow later, but this was their first time going above the kiss.


End file.
